What Twitter Taught Me about Me

Earlier this year I decided to run a little personal experiment.

The question: What would I be like if no one knew who I was?
The answer: Myself

I opened the Twitter account @Perceiving to see what I would do with the freedom of anonymity. To summarize, I said things that I would otherwise be too self-conscious to share on my actual twitter feed, @nickwritenow. I also found that I was more open to following people from different backgrounds. However, I did continuously find my way into following many of the same people.

Still, I had a more open mind. I became more willing to hear what people had to say. Their points of view were so much different than I was used to. Plus, I felt I could reply my honest opinion without feeling personally at risk. Cowardly I admit, but interesting to see myself in this light.

Within the first 26 days I had more followers with @Perceiving than I had in the first 2 years with @nickwritenow. I know this isn’t the end all be all of measuring Twitter aptitude, but it gave me an idea of how effective I was being.

@nickwritenow (2 years)
Followers—337     Following—295     Retweets—1       @mentions—96

@Perceiving (26 days)
Followers—384     Following—398     Retweets—12     @mentions—88

My plan was to run both accounts for 6 months to see which one would win out. What would I learn, if anything, in 6 months that could make me more effectively active on Twitter? Well, it was clear within the first month that @Perceiving was my more dominant persona. However, just a couple weeks later I saw a huge change—I began applying my @Perceiving attitude towards @nickwritenow, and my new Twitter account quickly fell by the wayside. Thus, 6 months became 3 months because I saw in me what I wanted to see much quicker than I anticipated.

@nickwritenow (2.5 years)
Followers—656     Following—588     Retweets—5       @mentions—148

@Perceiving (3 months)
Followers—531     Following—572     Retweets—14     @mentions—126

My followers nearly doubled in the course of 2 months, as did those I followed. 5 retweets is still pretty sad, but compared to just 1 after 2 years? Besides, that’s only counting those who retweeted through the new retweet button. I have received many more through traditional retweets. @Perceiving still wins in this category though, but sometimes I feel people are more apt to retweet someone they don’t know, as though they think that person somehow knows more—something I’ve noticed in the corporate world as well. @mentions rose at a steady pace for both—due in part, I think, to my participation in more conversations.

So the question lingers—am I more personable, relatable, and entertaining because I’m less reserved, or are the people I am now connected to more apt to participate, have a conversation, and retweet? The answer—yes. My alter ego taught me that I can be more myself and not reserve my tweets to just news or others’ reports, but to create my own news more often, comment more, open myself up more, and be more willing to hear those who may be outside my industry and geographic area. It has helped me get more people to read my work and has taught me that maybe I’m more interesting than I give myself credit for.

I understand that none of this is scientific by any means, but for me it has opened my eyes. Mainly, I learned a lot about myself. I’m more interesting when I’m open and less reserved—a lesson I’m sure many people already learned about themselves, but as a lifelong wallflower it has opened my eyes to the true me, and I’m a right-old, opinionated, son-of-a-bitch when I want to be.

Screw 'em. Do What You Want.

Working in advertising and marketing can lead a copywriter or designer to utter self-destruction. Just think how many bosses you have as a creative—ACD, Creative Director, maybe an Executive Creative Director, those AEs that think they’re your boss, the client, the client’s boss, the client’s boss’ boss.

By the time the amazing concept you conceived and drew blood for hits the target, you can’t stand the sight of it anymore. All the life has been choked out of it. All the ideas that kept you sane have been so distorted you’re one psychotic laugh away from a straightjacket.

So, how do you maintain your sanity? Create for yourself. It doesn’t happen very often, but if you and your partner in creation can find some time among the floods of work, revisions, and mind changes, create an ad for yourself. Write what you want. Design it the way you would if it were entirely up to you. Then, pass it around. Who knows, it may get picked up. Or, it may get shot down. Either way, it’s something you’ll be proud of, and something you might even put in your book. At the very least, the fun of creating something you’re truly excited about will remind you why you love what you do.

After three months of direction changes, here’s what my designer and I did…our sanity isn’t absolute, but it’s at least balanced.

Cool as the Other Side of the Ad

Unfortunately I have to tread a little lighter than usual when it comes to sounding my opinions here. Being employed will do that to you.
Just over a year ago I was a victim of this wonderful economy of ours and found myself on the wrong end of layoffs at a top agency in Baltimore. Thus I embarked on a 9-month voyage of self employment. I quickly found out that it’s not as fun going it alone—something I learned years ago.

So, I ended up spending more time trying to find a job than working on those I already had. And after 9 long months the job offers flooded in, and I found myself sitting at a desk writing copy once again. However, this time it was not in an agency, but on the client side for eInstruction.

Now that I’m on the other side of advertising, people are asking me which I like better—agency-side or client-side? Well…it depends.

I know that answer is right up there with an MVP saying he’d like to thank the lord when asked what it’s like to win the Super Bowl, but honestly it truly does depend on what you’re looking for. Each side has its positives and negatives.

For one, I met with one of my old agencies last week who is trying to gain business from us. The sense of unremitting power was overwhelming.

That's a rarity. But, as a copywriter, you typically get three things at an agency you don’t get on the client side—Cushion, Filter, and Creative.

Cushion—at an agency there are numerous people between you and the client. On the client side you’re constantly face to face with your so-called client. You don’t get the comfy bubble you can find in an agency creative department. You don’t have to deal with all the back and forth wishy-washy crap the client goes through on a daily basis—“Are we or aren’t we?” “Should we or shouldn’t we?” A lot of decisions are already made before that creative brief hits your desk at an agency.

Filter—when you’re a copywriter at an agency a lot of what you say never quite makes it to the person who needs to hear it, and vice versa. Even if you talk directly to your client, chances are they have to go relay what you say to someone higher up. It’s never said the right way and the message never quite makes it. On the client side you’re talking right to the client and the filter, for the most part, is lifted.

Creative—typically, but of course not always, the majority of the creative work comes from the agency side. That’s where you’ll find your ADDY, TELLY, CLIO, etc. Then there are the exceptions to the rule, like Under Armour. An extremely large percentage of their work is done in house, and they have some great creative.

Under Armour - Breakdown (2003) - 0:30 (USA)

So, if you’re someone that prefers the agency, but can’t find a place just yet, a job on the client side that balances a nice combination of all of this can be a very happy home.

You Don't Know What You're Talking About

I'm taking a step away from my usual content to offer insight on the MLB Postseason to all those who hate it...

For all you Yankee haters out there. And all those who say MLB needs a salary cap so the same teams don't keep winning the championship, here's a lesson for you. Learn it before you utter another false claim.

Since 2000 no team has defended a championship in MLB. The only other major sport that can say that is hockey...and that only dates back to 1998. However, since 1995 the Red Wings have been in and won as many championship series as the Yankees. In fact, there's only one MLB team that has won more than one championship since 2000…the Red Sox (not the Yankees).

NBA—every season from 1987 to 2002 featured a 2 or 3 repeat winner, except for the 1999 Spurs, but even the Spurs have won 4 since then, and 3 out of the last 6. In fact, since 1980 only 9 different teams have won the NBA championship (MLB-18, only 2 repeats). Only the Heat and 76ers have just one championship in that time (Rockets-2, Pistons-3). 5 out of 30 teams dominate the NBA.

NFL—Patriots repeated in 2004 and 2005, and won 3 out of 4. Steelers have won 2 out of the last 4. 5 of the last 8 Super Bowls have been won by 2 teams. There have also been 4 repeat champs since 1989 (5 since 1979). Only 15 different teams have won the Super Bowl since 1979. And there are more teams in the NFL.

So don't say MLB needs to change. They, and the NHL, have it under better control than any other sport.

"But Wait, I'm Gonna Shove More Crap Down Your Throat"

Ok, I think it's about time I drew some attention to this smug s.o.b. on the left over there. "Here kids these cigarettes will make your throat less irritated." Seriously, we only trust doctors and scientist until they tell us they were wrong, and for some stupid reason we still trust these m-f-ers when they tell us the next thing to do. They're the ones that can make you feel secure about a product, and they're always pushing products that you see a year later in ambulance-chasing lawyer commercials. Can't wait to see the side effects of that colon cleanser I saw at 3:30 in the morning. All I know is I'm gonna think twice next time I go in for a hernia check, or a prostate examination. "DO I LOOK LIKE AN 80-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION? Then please remove your hand from my rectum and save it for your infomercials you sick bastard."
  
But all of this does give me something to ad to over-promising infomercials.

Now, I've done my share of infomercials, but it’s a little harder to oversell a trip to Hawaii than it is a glorified paper towel. (I also want to add that I am not responsible for the upkeep of the VTTV site)

I saw an infomercial recently for a commercial-grade blender that they pushed as a healthy alternative to high-calorie juices and sodas. Yeah right, because I'm actually going to go spend $50 on bananas, kiwis, mangos, and black raspberries when I could spend the same amount on rum, gin, and vodka and just throw it all in the blender with some OJ.

IMPORTANT: Be mindful of your etiquette. If you're going to endorse a product like this, don't call the cops after you slap a hooker. Also, never write a line like "You're gonna love my nuts." It's funny to get a laugh out of Creative Directors or give AEs heart attacks, but how can you pitch that to a client? "We're going to say, 'You're gonna love my nuts.' No seriously. No really. Stop laughing." Makes me wonder what else we can love with the Slap Chop. Pickles, chickpeas, melons, chocolate salty balls? And when will we finally be rid of Tony Little? You're almost as obnoxious as Michael Moore. Still, infomercials have their place and they do tend to unload a lot of product. They're not all bad I suppose, but I ask you, how many ab machines do you have in your basement? Or dull knives in your drawers? Don't be ashamed, we all have flowbees in our closets.

Now, I can't conclude our little journey through infomercial land without a mention of Billy Mays. You were the best thing to happen to infomercials since Ron Popeil. God bless ya.
 

I Only Like You When You Buy Me a Drink

I have a little something to ad about our colleague the Account Executive (AE). I'm saying this now because, well, I'm not with an agency as of right now, and once I'm with one I won't want to be running my mouth (though it is still probably ill-advised to do so now), but I'm sure my fellow writers and art director cohorts will be with me all the way.

For the most part, AEs are only worth their salt when they're buying me a drink. And guess how many times that has happened. There are the occasional few that do their job, and they're the ones I'm sure I'll be hearing it from after they read this post, but I'm also damn sure they know who I'm talking about.

The problem is they think their job is to tell us how to do our job. It's not. We have creative directors for that. And god forbid if you try to get them to do the job they were actually hired for. Good luck getting a decent creative brief out of them, or a straight answer, or even getting them to call the damn client when you need them to. It would be a whole lot easier writing in your own blood then getting them on your side when the client has an issue.

"Stop selling the client to me and start selling me to the client," a wise line from the beloved Mad Men. It seems that many AEs forget who they're working with and for. And too often they forget what side of the office they work on. Instead of convincing the client why our strategy works best for them they stand over our shoulder telling us what to write (or what color they like) and telling us to do it quicker. "LISTEN! There's a reason you're not on the creative team. Deal with it."

Now, I'm not one to turn my head and not listen to opinions, but when you start telling me what to do instead of talking it through with me, that's when we have a problem.

The argument I always hear from these types of AEs is, "It's our job to think like the client." Let me tell you, thinking like the client doesn't mean railroading your creative team. The only thing worse than a pain-in-the-ass client is the AE who enables them. Again, like the random AE, not all clients bend you over the drawing table. But when you're fighting with your AE and four client reps about why you did what you did after you've laid out the concept and creative based on their strategy, who's the one that didn't do their job?

Still, even if they never do buy me a drink, they at least give me a good reason to buy myself one every day. "To the AE!"

It's the Southwestiest

Seeming that I was so negative in an earlier posting with Jiffy Lube, I decided I have something to ad that is a little more positive…Southwest. I just flew down to Tampa on Saturday (jealous Baltimore?) and the flight was excellent.

The only semi-annoying thing was I ran late and the woman at the front counter wrestled with her jammed stapler as my bag (which was probably going to miss the flight) sat on the scale instead of being put on the conveyor belt. Other than that little quirk, I love Southwest. By the way, my bag made it on the flight safe and sound. Well, it made it on anyway. I can't attest for what BWI did to it.

I know there are a lot of people out there that hate Southwest because of claims that they herd people like cattle, but honestly they don't even really do that anymore. And seriously, that's the only true flaw anyone can point out about them.

Wanna change your seat on another airline? Woops, sorry. You're in row F, seat U. And Southwest actually gives you snacks. On a 12 hour trip to Hawaii a few years ago aboard an unnamed airline (I'm trying to stay positive) there wasn’t as much as a single peanut, and you had to ask for water.

On a Southwest flight from Baltimore to Albany (an hour flight) I get a soda and peanuts. On a Southwest flight from Baltimore to Tampa (a two hour flight) I get a soda, peanuts, and some sort of crackers. Oh yeah, and they're barely even $100 round trip (Albany is $80 right now). Cheaper and food? It's no wonder every other big airline is going under.

Southwest is so wonderful and cheery in my eyes I swear they could speak like Smurfs. "Welcome to the Southwestiest Southwest where your Southwest is always in good Southwest. How can I Southwest you today?" They even fly blue planes for chrip's sake. A bit Papa Smurf-ish, no?

Plus, you never have to walk past those damn snooty first-class people with their champagne and actual reclining seats.

And their advertising is not only the best among airlines, it's among the best period. It's always on point, downright hilarious, and they back up everything they say. And they've been doing it longer than you think.

Something Toad

Inspired by my good friend, and esteemed observer, Jason Bloom's (that's right, I called you out) observation that "Something to Ad" is also "Something Toad" I have decided to search "Something Toad" through multiple engines and find out what the top search result gave me. For a little more needless enjoyment, I'm also adding in the top image results as well.

Google – A very useless blurb about someone finding a toad drinking beer in their garden. Result


Bing – A very entertaining video by Toad the Wet Sprocket (severely underappreciated) Result


Yahoo – Hmm, a software company. Could be useful if that's what I was looking for. Result


AltaVista – Some weird shopping sight. Horny Toad Scout Crop Pants? Really? Really? Result


Dogpile – Sent me to Ask.com, but Ask.com didn't even yield this result. What the hell? Result
(Image was the same as AltaVista)

Gigablast – A Wikipedia entry for some seriously weird English food. Oh how I remember my childhood summers when mom made Toad in the Hole. Delish. Result
(No image search capabilities on Gigablast)

This little experiment has also provided me with a chance to choose which search engine I prefer. I used to be a Yahoo guy because that's what my main email is through. Then I went to Google for unknown reasons. Now, my wife is in love with Bing and I have to say I'm coming around.

My conclusion*…Google sucked it. Yahoo gave me something useful, but needless to me. AltaVista is still only good for translating with Bable Fish. Dogpile is having an identity crisis. And don't even get me started on Gigablast. Bing gave me some entertainment and something I would actually watch. I guess my wife does know what she's talking about after all.

As far as the image search goes, well, let's just say they have a long way to catch up to Getty Images.


* Ask, Lyco, Netscape, and HotBot yielded similar web and image results as other larger search engines.

Advertising Can Only Get You So Far

Jiffy Lube, much like Elliot in the Morning down in D.C., is something you continue to patronize until they kick you square in the junk box and instead of apologizing, they laugh in your face.

I have a bit of something to ad about this non-stop, piss-me-off, "we love our customers" crap campaign that seems to be circulating at nausea. It's a handful of what I'm supposed to accept as Jiffy Lube franchise owners telling me what I can do with my day. Telling me how much they care about me. Telling me how much they know about my car.

First of all, I wouldn't ask the owners in the commercial for a tissue much less an oil change. Secondly, the way the commercial is created these people look like front-row idiots, just because you can hide in the trunk of a car it doesn’t mean you can change oil. And lastly, you can tell me you love your customers all you want. You can tell me you're experts until you're blue in the face, but back it up when I walk through the door.

I, like so many others, went to Jiffy Lube for years. I never had a problem, so I never went anywhere else. They were never the friendliest people, but they were quick and convenient. That is until I found that more than half of my oil drained out less than a day after a change and I was able to tighten my oil filter with my bare hand. Experts? No, more like bums pulled off the streets to turn a few screws.

When I returned to talk to the manager he was willing to change my oil again, but not for free. Oh no, the infamous "they" said he can't do that. So when I asked him if I could speak to "they" he told me that there is no one above him I could speak to. Newsflash, there is always someone higher you can talk to. It just depends on how much crap you want to sift through.

I asked the enlightened, and obviously smarter, manager what they would have done if my car had no oil and became un-drivable. He didn't have an answer. Yeah, Jiffy Lube "loves" their customer alright, just enough to take your money and flip you off as they kick you in the snards one more time.

LESSON: Advertising can only get the customer in the door. It can't turn your piece-of-crap service and technician staff into a bunch of magical fairies and wizards.

Now, I'm going to be a whore for Valvoline. Their mechanics are quicker than Jiffy Lube, friendlier than Jiffy Lube, and more knowledgeable than Jiffy Lube. If I have a problem, they fix it. End of story.

And as their slogan now states: "Instant is way faster than a Jiffy."

1 Addy, 2 Addy, 3 Addy, SCORE!

If you know me well, or even at all, you know I'm not someone who likes to brag about my work or accomplishments. I don't let my ego get in the way or let it hurt other people. In fact, I have been categorized as the antithesis of the traditional copywriter. However, to keep with the stereotype of my profession, I have something to ad about my own work.

Back in April I attended the Baltimore Addy Awards to see a campaign I created for my former agency win 3 Addys (2 Silver, 1 Gold), and I thought it was about time I broke through my lax demeanor to promote myself for once (as if that's not what this blog is about in the first place).

The campaign won a Gold Addy while the two following posters each won a Silver Addy.

Created for the George Washington University/AED HEALTHY Study.

I remember back when I was taking copywriting classes and other advertising courses, professors would always tell us how sometimes copywriters come up with the visual and sometimes the art director comes up with the copy. I think this was the first time in my career where both happened at the same time. I created the concept for the Fruit Bike and after my art director drew what I was explaining on a white board he simply titled it "Eat healthy. Ride farther." He was trying to keep it separated from all the other ideas we had, but when I saw it, I knew...that was our headline. And the campaign just grew from there.

Now, you may think I'm just a lazy writer, but I honestly believe that part of writing (and especially advertising) is knowing when someone else hands you the answer and not wasting time simply because you didn't come up with it yourself.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed seeing these posters even a small percentage as much as I did making them.

Humbly yours,

Nick Write Now

I Saw State Farm's Weiner

Everyone has their two cents to throw in the ring. Or is that a hat to put in? Either way, I've decided to give my point of view about some of the things I'm seeing out there in the ad world, be it campaign or otherwise. If it catches my attention, it's worth writing about.

The first thing I have something to ad to is State Farm's "You only get what your told" campaign created by DDB in Chicago.

A couple of months ago I was paying close attention to the NCAA tournament, as both a gambling addict and avid sports fan, and what I was slammed over the head with was this campaign State Farm was running at break neck frequency. In short, it's absolutely brilliant.

Hot Dog Vender—The first commercial I saw is my favorite. Shot by a hidden camera, a hot dog vender stands on the street obviously selling hot dogs. But that's all he truly has. No buns, no nothing. A very nice added touch is his ketchup and mustard are watered down.

Why is this spot, and its cohorts (Popsicle and car wash), so spot on? The message. It's clear and to the point—"Is your insurance company selling you a hot dog without the bun?" “a Popsicle without the stick?” or "a car wash without the rinse?” Whether or not these analogies are correct, which I think we can agree they are pretty freaking close, the message that needed to be conveyed was done so through an easy-to-understand concept and a great acting performance.

These spots have the entertainment value of a sketch show with the impact of a sledgehammer. Too bad I'm a Nationwide guy.